what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
