More tranny stories later!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
