Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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