i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
