Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
