I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
