So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
