she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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