your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize