There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Vodka?
Forever.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
