You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
