Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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