hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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