Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize