I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
