I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
