just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
