I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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