there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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