I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
