Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
what day is it and did you see me today?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
