addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
