I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
