know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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