I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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