just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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