from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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