Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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