she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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