A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
