toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
