I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I enjoy the company of your penis
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
