Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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