It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
