Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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