New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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