you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
