I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
