3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize