It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
