how can u be prego again
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Princesses don't give blow jobs
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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