You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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