Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
