if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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