After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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