Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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