yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
