woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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