it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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