Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
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