You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I still have a little drunk in my system
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
