I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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