soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
