Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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