Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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