New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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