I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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