I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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