batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
