meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
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