well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
