She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
there is glitter all over my balls
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